By: Daniel Vahab
Why is it awkward when the professor takes role on the first day of school?
Should I pronounce my name in a deep or soft voice? Should I simply raise my hand and hope the professor sees me? But wait—everyone’s going to look at me once my name is called. Gosh, I feel like I’m in the waiting room at the dentist. Perhaps, the trick is to keep myself busy, reading or doodling or chatting with the Tri-Delt that sits to my right.
The anticipation is unbearable. To make matter worse, my last name starts with a “V”; therefore, I’m usually among the last student names called. Aw…ok—I got it—I’ll blurt out my name like its Bingo.
In today’s chaotic world, there is an incessant, pervasive barrage of why that exists. If you have a yearning to contemplate the why, you’ll be baffled when all you discover is the illogic in the why. This article is simply a chronicle of some of the whys.
Certainly, I could go on and on and on—but why.
Why does MTV’s popular show, My Sweet Sixteen, include adolescent boys—I thought a Sweet Sixteen was a big deal for adolescent girls? Why is it that on those celebrity weight loss shows on VHI, the celebrities step on the scale fully clothed and with shoes? And, how come music videos will say this song is by this person and that person, and then the later not the former person seems to only contribute a little to the song. And why aren’t there expiration dates on computer mousses—I find so many dysfunctional computer mousses. And why does the radio play out all the good songs.
And what motivates people to express themselves on bathroom stalls? That’s just the short version of why.
Moreover, why is it that people feel compelled to say “goodbye” when it’s not really “goodbye”. I always feel a little depressed after I say “goodbye”. Admittedly, though, it’s become polite to say goodbye. And if you don’t say goodbye and some calamity occurs in your life or to the person you said goodbye to, e.g. a car accident, you regret not saying goodbye. Until then, we should say “goodbye to goodbye”.
So, we went out to this wine place with some friends and ordered some wine…but they took forever to bring us the wine—it’s not like they have to cook the wine. And what’s the deal with people swooshing the wine in their months and sniffing the wine before they actually consume the wine—I say that’s weird. And, I know there’s a rule about not being able to buy a wine bottle to consume outside the wine place, but why? Only you’re allowed to drink the wine bottle in the place.
Ok, so there was this thirty year old guy who went out with us and we’re all around twenty-four. Only we assumed he was around the same age. I was shocked when I found out. If he were twenty nine, I probably would’ve been less shocked—thirty just seems a lot older than twenty nine. Why?
And, I don’t understand some people, like my younger brother, Jonny. He wants to come visit me in Tallahassee—he’s in Jacksonville. But I tell him that he’s going to be bored. I’ve visited him in Jacksonville and done everything there; it’s all the same. Indeed, I’ve realized something—most places offer the same forms of entertainment— movies, clubs, bars, etc.
But, you know what’s disheartening to me the most—Josephyn, the little old lady working as a cashier for the BP gas station on the intersection of Glades Road and Butts Road in West Boca. Why should she have to work at her old age? How sad.
Also, why is it that girls can get guys way above their standards, but guys must lower their standards to get a girl. And if a guy hooks-up with lots of girls, he receives props and is called a player; conversely, if a girl hooks-up with lots of guys, she is called a slut. And so girls often will hold-back. Not fair.
Additionally, why are there people who constantly complain about their past relationship, and act like they’re an attorney trying to convince you that their ex is guilty—shut up, you’re annoying.
Plus, why do some kids simply remain kids. Eric, 25, goes to Drew’s, who is 24, office to take him to lunch. Only Eric doesn’t realize that Drew has a real job (banker) and Eric can’t just barge into Drew’s office and casually say “Let’s get some lunch”— Drew may have a client coming.
Besides, why do girls drag their boyfriends into Bed Bath and Beyond. For me, Bed Bath and Beyond is parallel to Starbucks instead of Dunkin Donuts for coffee, and I’m a Dunkin Donuts type of guy—albeit, I love the array of smells from the candle isle.
What’s more, as I look across a busy intersection, I realize something—no one stops to smell the fresh air or look at the clouds or sky or stars anymore. Why?
Why, why, why…?
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